Taking Ordinary to Extraordinary: the Painful Way

Today I went into the file where we keep all our important papers so I could get Juliet's Birth Certificate.  As I held the Birth Certificate in my hand, I gently touched the lower left hand stain.  To an untrained eye, it may look like a simple dirt smudge, but to me it brought back so many emotions.  You see, this grey area is actually a scar on this paper.  The paper never felt pain, but we carried the pain for it.  This scar was a result of this paper sitting in an inferno for better than 24 hours as our home burned down in 2001.  That inferno stole most everything from us - our clothes, shoes, food, beds, and even sense of reality.  It ripped from us 99.9% of everything we owned - minus a few miracles: this beautiful Birth Certificate and some beloved photographs.

Time has healed our painful wounds, and new shoes and clothes were purchased to replace all those that were lost, but we also carry scars like that Birth Certificate belonging to Juliet. Our scars aren't grey singes located on our bodies, but rather something unseen by mere human eyes forever changed within our souls.  This event made our little, simple, ordinary family - extraordinary.   A day never closes without us sharing our love for each other, we treasure our family time, I take way too many pictures, and simple things are greatly appreciated - like being genuinely grateful to see a house standing when returning from a vacation.  That isn't even taking into account that my business is now helping others find their true treasures while clearing out the clutter in their own lives.

I had to replace Scott and my Birth Certificate and Dylan of course has a brand new Birth Certificate - as he was born well after the fire in 2003.  I also had to order new Social Security cards, Marriage License, etc. Now, all the papers are stored in a safe location, and each carry a very important purpose - but no paper is more special that that Birth Certificate with the grey scar on the bottom of the left hand corner.

I could have replaced Juliet's Birth Certificate many years ago.  She could have a crisp white one like her brother's, unscathed with no scars to speak of anywhere.  But, much like our own life's journey, it is not about remaining crispy white; each wound has a purpose - to teach and to change.  Life would be glorious without pain and loss, or would it?  From deaths, miscarriage, and our fire, I have learned empathy - pain has been an incredible teacher. 

Someday when I am long gone, I hope Juliet can still treasure that Birth Certificate with the grey scar on the bottom of the left hand corner, and appreciate that through our loss - we were forever changed.

New Year's Resolutions No More!

Five years ago my sister and I wrote down our resolutions and sealed them in an envelope.  We decided to open them at the end of 2007 and bask in the glory of resolutions achieved.  That 2007 celebration never did take place, and we never attempted to do that again! The problem is, I wrote down the same resolutions as I have every year…without truly examining why I always failed to achieve most resolutions in the past.  The larger problem is not the topic of each resolution, but what success in each resolution actually meant.  A common resolution for me was exercise more.  “Exercise more” is not a clear enough definition to truly be a goal for me.  And then other years when I broke the goal into “exercise 5 times a week” I would find myself doing well at first and then some event would take place, I would get off track and would realize that success in “exercising 5 times a week” was already not an option anymore…and quit. 

My senior year in high school, my group of friends and I got together and created a must-do list for ourselves.  Some were little things, like drink a “Yoo-Hoo”, and others were a little trickier for some: getting kissed on the high jump mat on the track field.  We vowed at the beginning of the year that all 20+ tasks would be achieved by graduation.  It made the year so fulfilling by checking off task after task.  No, I never did get kissed on the high jump mat on the track field, but I look back over twenty years ago and can clearly remember so many of these other little achievements.  It made the year so memorable.  

Last year I decided to take my senior checklist to the next level.  Create a list of the little things that I could do throughout the year that would make 2012 memorable.  The items on my list did not require a lot of time or money; most required very little of each. 

Here is a small sampling of my personal list:

1. Have a picnic out in the yard
2. Bake cookies for the neighbors for no reason at all
3. Send a letter to a long lost friend

I realize now that placing on my New Year’s Resolution list “Exercise 5 times a week every week” is equivalent to me as “Pet a Unicorn.”  It is nice to think about, but it’s not going to happen.  I have become realistic to what I will and what I won’t do.    This year try and find simplicity in your life.  Look for the little things to bring you fulfillment.  If exercise is your end goal, add run a mini marathon to your checklist.  It’s not about being the ultimate best you can be this year, it is about living a better and more fulfilled life in 2013 than you did in 2012.

Have fun creating your checklists!

Betsy

   

7 Days to a Clean and Organized Kitchen

There really is no right or wrong way to clean. Whatever works best for you is great. Be very careful that you do not get stuck in the details of these projects. Do what you can and then move on! Don't spend this week cleaning and organizing your spice cabinet. We'll spend some time down the road de-cluttering this room and you can focus on those areas at that time. Your main goal for this room is to end up with a clean, functional, and easily maintainable kitchen.

I must admit that for me the kitchen is the zone that requires the most work. If my kitchen looks clean I feel more relaxed and in control...and vice-versa. My family (myself included) can tend to use the kitchen as a dumping ground. Attempt to come up with clutter-busting solutions to fit your home. If you have an area that seems to accumulate clutter, try to come up with a system to get rid of it (or at least contain it).

Break this job into small tasks. Each day you should plan to spend between 15-30 minutes. I do best if I set the timer.

Below is a sample of my list: (Please keep in mind to break up your job into tasks however it suits you best)

Purge
Clean refrigerator (inside, outside, and above)
Clean Stove
Clean cabinets
Dust walls, ceilings, corners, ceiling fans
Thoroughly sweep and mop of the room including corners and under furniture
Take down curtains and wash according to directions
Clean area carpets
Clean windows & windowsills
Purge and clean knick knacks
Wash baseboards, radiators, doors, etc.
Decorate for fall

Now break the large list into daily checklists:

Day 1:
Grab a bag and purge! Set the timer for 15-30 minutes and purge what you can. If this is a project that requires more than the time permits, just write this down for a project to do when you have a chance. Don't let yourself get stuck!

Day 2:
Clean ceiling fan, walls, doors, ceilings, and baseboards. If you have time left, try to tackle a bit more purging.

Day 3:
Clean your fridge. This means inside, outside, and on the top. Also clean your oven. If your oven is not a self-cleaning type, you may want to do this at a later date.

Day 4:
Take down curtains and wash
Clean the windowsills and trim
Windex windows, mirrors, and all glass surfaces
Hang the window treatments back up

Day 5:
Completely clear off your countertops and wash them down thoroughly. Clean small appliances and decorative accessories and make an effort to be very selective which items get placed back. Appliances which are not used much should be tucked away. If you are like me and seem to accumulate clutter in one area of the countertop, place a basket there! Old habits are really hard to break! If you have a table in the kitchen, wipe that down as well.

Day 6:
Wipe down all the cabinets and try to wipe inside as many cabinets as possible.
Sweep and mop floors
Treat yourself!  Decorate for fall; new tablecloth, placemats fall flowers, etc.

Day 7:
HAPPY THANKSGIVING

Before you start any of the above projects, make sure you start with a straightened room.

Some of the tasks may need more time than what you have this week. An example of this would be if you really need a thorough de-cluttering of plastic ware, spices, freezer, etc. For larger tasks, skip it for now (or do what you can without making a larger mess for yourself) and make a to-do list. At the end of our 8 weeks (or during, when you have the time) you can go back to the list to see what needs to still be addressed. I don't want you to get stuck and lose your momentum.

Happy Cleaning!!
Betsy
Reminder:
This is not a contest, and your goal is not to get your home the best it can be, rather you want it to look better than it did before you started!  Applaud yourself for the little achievements on the way to completing this complete overhaul

EASY One Week Plan to Clean/Organize Your Living Room, Dining Room, and Family Room

This week we are working in the living room, family room and dining room. If you have decided to define zones differently in your home, just adjust these challenges to best suit your needs.

Sit down with a piece of paper and write down everything that you would like to get done in these areas this week.  Be realistic with how much time you have to work on this project.  Break each job into small tasks achievable tasks. Below is a sample of my list:

Purge
Dust furniture
Dust walls, ceilings, corners, ceiling fans
Thorough vacuum of the room including corners and under furniture
Take down curtains and wash according to directions
Clean windows & windowsills
Purge and clean knick knacks
Wash baseboards, radiators, doors, etc.
Decorate for Fall

Now break the large list into daily checklists.  I find it easiest for me to spend between 15-30 minutes each day on these challenges.  In your own circumstances, you may have to break it up differently.  Keep in mind, the true goal in this overhaul is to simply get things clean and organized before Thanksgiving.  It doesn’t matter if you do it 15 minutes each day, or take one day a week and devote a couple hours to the project.

Here’s a sample:

Day #1:
Grab a bag and purge! Set the timer for 15-30 minutes and purge what you can. If this is a project that requires more than the time permits, just write this down for a project to do when you have a chance. Don't let yourself get stuck!

Day #2:
Clean ceiling fan, walls, doors, ceilings, baseboards, etc.

Day #3 :
Purge and clean knick knacks, frames, DVD’s, books, etc.

Day #4:
Take down curtains and wash
Clean the windowsills and trim
Windex windows, mirrors, and all glass surfaces
Hang the window treatments back up

Day #5:
Dust all the furniture thoroughly

Day #6 :
Clean under couch and chair cushions
Thoroughly vacuum the floors (don't forget the corners and under furniture)

Day #7:
Free Day (or catch up)

Some of the tasks may need more time than what you have this week. An example of this would be if you really need a thorough de-cluttering of your movies, cd's, or books. For larger tasks, skip it for now (or do what you can without making a larger mess for yourself) and make a to-do list. At the end of our 8 weeks (or during, when you have the time) you can go back to the list to see what needs to still be addressed. I don't want you to get stuck and lose your momentum.

Before you start a cleaning and purging session change into comfortable clothes.  Next, turn off the ringer on your phone and allow your answering machine to get your messages.  Pour yourself your favorite beverage (mine is hot tea), and grab a bucket of hot soapy water and a microfiber cloth, and a couple garbage bags.  Turn on your favorite upbeat (cleaning) music and set your timer for 15 minutes (or whatever time you have allotted).  You will be amazed what can be accomplished in a short amount of time!! 
Happy Cleaning!!
Betsy

Family Menu Planning

Think you don’t have any extra money to save up for that car or dream vacation?  Did you know that the largest expenditure second only to mortgage in the average American household is food?  According to Consumer Expenditures reports,
the average American household spends $8000.00 a year on groceries alone.  If you could cut that cost by ¼ you could save $2000.00 a year!  And then there is the nearly $3500.00 that the average family spends on dining out as some reports suggest.  Those numbers may sound high when combined over a year, but it is really $154.00 week on groceries and $67.00 a week on dining out.  Dining out includes any meal purchased outside the grocery store including but not limited to coffees, sodas, fast food,  and snacks.

When I talk about menu planning, I do not mean a strict “meatloaf on Thursdays” approach to your family meals.  Rather I want you to plan ahead each week what you are going to have the following week based upon 1. Food you already have and 2. Foods that are on sale.

Menu Planning Tips:

1.     Plan out your groceries for the following week before you go to the grocery store for the week

2.     Shop your freezer, fridge, and pantry first for ideas

3.     Plan meals that share ingredients.  Don’t forget to chop once, use twice.  For instance, if you have a couple recipes that call for sliced carrots; slice them all at once and store the extra in the refrigerator until needed.

4.     Plan your meals based upon your week activities.  For example, if you work late on a certain night, make that night soup and sandwich night.

5.     Buy meats that are on sale this week to create a meal a following week.  Don’t plan to make a boneless skinless chicken breast meal only to go to the grocery store and find that it is $5.99 a pound.  Rather, put that recipe on hold for another week when you have purchased your chicken on sale. 

6.     Use your freezer!  Don’t store your meats in your refrigerator, unless you absolutely plan on eating the meat within the next two days, place it in a freezer safe baggy and clearly mark its contents.
 

7.     Plan a leftover night once a week.  I prefer to do this the night before I go for groceries

8.     Prep your produce when you come home from the grocery store – wash and cut vegetables and wrap in a paper towel and place into a ziplock storage bag. 

9.     Coupons are great…but:  If you cannot find the time (or desire) to clip coupons, don’t sweat it.  I would much prefer you buy what you eat and eat what you buy.  That said, there are many great online sites to teach you how to maximize your grocery budget with coupons.

10.   Lastly, get the family involved in picking out the meals for the following week.  Have your older children come up with a menu.  Encourage them to shop in the cabinets and see what recipes could be made with certain foods.

Autumn Overhaul: Bathroom and Foyer

 

We are working on our third zone this week. For me that is my bathrooms and foyer. If you have decided to define zones differently in your home, just adjust these challenges to best suit your needs.

Break this job into small tasks. Each day you should plan to spend between 15-30 minutes. I find I do best if I set the timer.

Below is a sample of my list: (Please keep in mind to break up your job into tasks however it suits you best)

Purge and clean storage areas (list each drawer, closet, cabinet etc., individually)
Dust furniture
Dust walls, ceilings, corners, ceiling fans
Thorough cleaning of the floors including corners and under furniture
Take down curtains and wash according to directions
Clean windows & windowsills
Purge and clean knick knacks
Wash baseboards, radiators, doors, etc.

Now break the large list into daily checklists however it best works for you.  Here’s a sample of my list:

Day #1:
Purge and dust knick knacks, books, frames, etc.
Clean out cabinets from one bathroom

Day #2:
Clean walls, doors, ceilings, baseboards, etc.
Purge and clean cabinets from another bathroom

Day #3:
Clean out foyer closet (wipe down walls, sweep floors, purge and sort) - Do as much of this as you can. If this is a project that requires more than 1/2 hour, just write this down for a project to do when you have a chance. Don't let yourself get stuck!

Day #4:
Take down curtains and wash
Clean the windowsills and trim
Windex windows and mirrors
Hang the window treatments/shower curtains back up
Purge and clean remaining cabinets

Day #5:
Dust all the furniture thoroughly
Clean tubs and showers

Day #6 :
Wash floors
Thoroughly vacuum the floors (don't forget the corners)
Decorate for spring.. spring flowers, etc.

Day #7 :
Free Day (or catch up)

Before you start any of the above projects, make sure you start with a straightened room. Place clean laundry away and dirty laundry in the hamper.

Some of the tasks may need more time than what you have this week. An example of this would be if you really need a thorough de-cluttering of your closet. For larger tasks, skip it for now (or do what you can without making a larger mess for yourself) and make a to-do list. At the end of our 8 weeks (or during, when you have the time) you can go back to the list to see what needs to still be addressed. I don't want you to get stuck and lose your momentum.

Keep in mind that throughout the year we tackle many of these de-cluttering projects in a far more thorough manner, so only attempt to tackle what you can realistically do in 15-30 minutes/day. Your goal is to have a clean (and easily maintainable) home by the holiday season... NOT a perfect home.

Happy Cleaning!!
Betsy

Candy Clutter: The True Fright at Halloween!

 

What should you do with all those candy filled bags coming into your home?  Ban Halloween?  Send notes with your children that all who give must give only nutritious snacks? Bury them in the backyard when no one is looking? Or my personal favorite… eat it yourself!!

This time of the year can just be simply wretched for the sugar aholics among us.  I bet I am not the only one who buys candy “for decoration” and then ends up eating it.  I can mow through a bag of candy corn in 24 hours without batting my eye!  And then there are the Halloween parties, parades, and the mother-of-them-all… trick or treating.  Years ago, we would get maybe a mini chocolate bar or a quarter per house, but not anymore!  The majority of the houses my kids visit have mini bags of candy!  Full size bars!! 

So what is a parent to do?  Should we allow our children to eat until their hearts are content and then just get them in for a good dental cleaning after a few weeks, or should we go the other way?  Ban all candy from the house?

I am suggesting a bit of a compromise:

1.  Don’t buy candy for your own house!  There are many other healthier alternatives for you to give out if trick-or-treaters come to your home.  Also, you won’t have double the candy if you buy for those who come to your house and then send your children out to get more!  Pretzels, fruit snacks, granola bars, etc. are all good choices.  You can use the leftovers for packing lunches!  A word of caution regarding fruit snacks.  My Dentist said these are an absolute nightmare on the teeth!

2.  Have your children pick out their favorites and take the rest to work.  What happens if you don’t do this is YOU will end up eating what is left!

3.  Use the candy for holiday baking.  Tandy cakes, candy bar cookies, M&M cookies, etc. are always great holiday favorites!  I freeze the candy so I won’t be tempted to sneak some.  If you don’t trust yourself, take them to a relative’s house.  Do you think I am joking??  I know how yummy frozen chocolate can be!

 4.  Re-use the hard candy.  Take the lollipops and other hard candy and stash them away until you have an occasion to stuff a piñata or need hard candy for some other occasion. 

5.  Allow your children to overindulge the first day and then be limited after that.  What I have found works best for us (keep in mind… I am not implying this will necessarily work for everyone) is we pretty much (within reason) allow them to eat whatever they desire Halloween night.  After that, they can have 1 piece of candy after school and another after dinner.

Hopefully some of the suggestions above will help you reclaim some of the control over the amount of candy in your home.   If nothing else, it certainly reaffirmed to me that I don’t need to buy a bag of candy corn “for decoration.”  Regardless, have a safe and fun-filled Halloween!

 Betsy